Welcome to our family-friendly hotel reviews! Here we are giving you the family-friendly basics—why, where, what, how much and a few other essential bits of info. We'll be compiling as many of these as we can, but we'd also love for YOU, yes, you to submit your own reviews. So drop us a line. We can't wait to read your stuff! Love, T+G.
In this issue, we've got the low-down on what it's like to experience Moon Palace Jamaica during a multi-generational vacation over the Festive season. Here the dad of the trip breaks down what was good and what was Ja-making them crazy.
Before I go into the details, my family had a GREAT time. My kids absolutely loved it and one said swimming with the dolphins was the best day of his life. My 72-year-old Mom was singing Ed Sheeran with the Teppanyaki chef, and my 71-year-old Dad ziplined! So thank you for all your help! That said…here we go:
THE GOOD:
Activities and excursions. There are tons of activities to do right on site, so it isn't all about sitting by the pool or beach here. Swim with dolphins, flowrider, game room, kids' room, activities pool, basketball court, flyboard, hoverboard. You really do have plenty to keep you, and more importantly, the kids, occupied while on site.
Excursion wise, the hotel has a room dedicated to planning excursions, so no need to book these in advance here. Our excursion day involved Blue Hole, ziplining, dune-buggying and floating down a river in a tube. It was our family's highlight day for sure and every generation was able to participate in most activities.
Ironically, I would say the excursions are where we go the most consistent good service, but more on that later.
The resort isn't isolated. For some, probably most, this would be a negative, but I loved being able to walk into town and interact locally. Even if you didn't walk into town, you could see the town and all its beauty and struggles, from our rooms. From my perspective it was good for everyone to see, but it didn't come without big challenges…more on that later.
No one bothers you on the beach. At many of these all inclusives that are on giant beaches you are constantly harassed by people selling you things. Here, the beach is so small (an old fishing village) that they quarantine off your section which is also small and probably man-made.
Teppanyaki Restaurant. Great show, great food, overall best dining experience. [Ed. Note: You need to make a reservation for this restaurant as soon as you check-in. You can't do it before you arrive.]
THE BAD:
Service. The hotel had really sub-par service. It was probably 50% people who were interested in helping, and 50% people who were disinterested almost completely. Not a good ratio. You know how Airbnb just feels so…transactional? Like, just “Click, buy and go away”? Many times I got that same feeling in Jamaica. It felt like many people LED with the transaction and didn't much care about the service š
If you send other clients here I suggest you find one of the top notch people who work here (and there are plenty) and tell your clients to find that person to help them during their stay.
I found Stacey. She was absolutely amazing. Manager of “PR” and she helped me so much with many things. She was absolutely amazing. For me, she was the highlight of the trip because of her great personal service.
Resort Credits. Ugh. First, you have to pay 16% cash on every credit used. So on $4,500 that is $720 out of pocket if you use all the credits. If you don't? They put them on a card so you can use them during your next stay. The credits aren't fun because they aren't good everywhere (gift shops, photos), but your entire party might not know that. So you are left with a surprise at the end of the trip when you get the bill.
The whole point of an ALL-INCLUSIVE is to be, um, ALL-INCLUSIVE and be super clear about what is not in the deal (excursions, etc) It is totally plausible some people like the credits thing, but I am not one of those people. Live and learn! Sidenote: Somebody needs to disrupt all inclusive resorts.
Noise. Ocho Rios LOVES to party. One night they partied until 5 AM. I mean REALLY went after it. Giant speakers that shook the building we were in. Look, as the locals told me — we only get one last weekend of the year and one New Year's Eve! The resort is right next to the town, so if this does happen you will feel it if you stay here. The first party night we all tried to sleep through it to no avail. Stacey got us ear plugs (savior) and on NYE we all just sat out on our balconies watching the revelry because, why not!
Restaurants Logistics. Everyone in the entire resort wanted to go to the Italian Restaurant on the same night, which meant us, as a party of 9 were in big trouble. With no reservations, we waited and waited, but finally had to pull the plug (none of their estimates were correct and in their defense they had three tables big enough to accommodate us and three groups that just sat at those tables all night.) I would argue that you WANT to go to an all-inclusive with reservations so you can plan out what time you go to dinner and not get left out in the cold. The buffet is always an option on nights you can't do a timed reservation. Also, they ran out of a bunch of food choices the last couple of days were were there. Strange.
Check-In.
Bad, but you know that story. [Ed. Note: The story in a nutshell was that when they arrived, one family was told they could not check-in because their children were not listed on the reservation. This was false as Dad had the documents, from the hotel, that stated the children were on the reservation and their birth dates were included. It took a few phone calls but they were able to check-in about 40 minutes after they arrived. Phew. But also, annoying.]
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