Murphy's Law dictates that a baby will have a disgusting blowout in their diaper at the most inconvenient time. Right after you changed their diaper but before you could run to the store to buy new diapers. When you've just gotten dressed for work or a night out. When you're in line at the grocery store and the damage is starting to leak out the baby sling.
Or when you're on a plane.
Changing diapers on a plane is one of the most unpleasant experiences in this modern life. And we're talking about something that's already unpleasant.
Most planes only have one bathroom that's equipped with the diaper-changing table and it's usually towards the back. Second, you have to squeeze into the bathroom, then pull down the table from over the toilet. It's not a padded changing table either. It's pretty much made of the same material as the rest of the lavatory. Then you have to hold down child and change the diaper, not an easy task when you're going through turbulence. Or even worse, when messy poop is involved. (Read this hilarious take on how to change a diaper on a plane in “just” 25 steps.)
But there are some people out there who'd rather not be bothered with all that.
One of our well-traveled friends was on a Southwest flight recently where he witnessed a #2 diaper change happen in the row across from him.
My flight from Oakland to Seattle on Southwest Air was delayed several times. We left the ground about an hour later than planned. The airplane was unusually warm and stuffy.
An hour into the flight, I was overwhelmed by the smell of raw sewage. I turned to my left. A young couple was in the midst of changing their baby's diaper and wiping their baby's soiled bum in the middle of the adjacent row of seats. One of the flight attendants must have received a complaint from another passenger. She came quickly running down the aisle. She asked the couple to please use the changing table in the bathroom. They refused. After ten minutes or so of parental work with the baby's feet flying high accompanied by charming songs and whispers from the parents, the used diapers were tossed in a plastic bag and the “garbage” was handed to the flight attendant.
Incredible.
I left my seat and moved to the back of the plane. The flight attendant I spoke with paused and said “You wouldn't believe the things people do on planes.”
Listen, being a parent is hard. You end up doing things you'd never in a million years think you would end up doing. That's pretty much in the job description: “Be prepared to do sh*t you swore you would never do.” And changing a poopie diaper in an airplane seat is probably somewhere near the top of that list. So we won't judge.
But if the plane is not full, and there's no line for the bathroom and hello? if the flight attendant is asking you to go to the bathroom, then please, for the love of God and nostrils and short tempers in small spaces, change the stinkin' diaper back there. Then we can all breathe a little better and maybe we won't be trying to tackle each other getting off the airplane (Eh, this will probably still happen.)
Regardless, pack some of those scented Munchin diaper bags in your carry-on in case you're absolutely forced to change a diaper out in public. These doody bags are also great for hotel rooms and other places that don't have Diaper Genies* in the house.
(See? Did we ever think we'd know what the heck a Diaper Genie was? And did we ever think we'd get mad that hotel rooms don't have them? Nope.)
Would you change a #2 diaper in your seat on the airplane? Sound off in comments below!
